so that wasnt chicken after all
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize