Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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