I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
