A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Drunk is a universal language darling
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize