he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
