So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
