My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I cut my penus on the lid.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Bang-toberfest begins!!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
