i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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