Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Randomize
