just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize