She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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