this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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