ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
