summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
