I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
