I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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