thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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