I don't think brook has ever known best
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
