wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
