We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
