So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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