Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
It's blow job season.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
