end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
