im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
