don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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