Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
