thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
