i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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