Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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