Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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