I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
