We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
