need another drink. this is the easiest way
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
