and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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