Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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