I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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