SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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