either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
she looked like the before picture.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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