isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
