Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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