So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
