North Korea, Best Korea!
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
