When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I think people are normalizing furries
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
