Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
