he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize