Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
