the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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