dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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