i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
