I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
