watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
