Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
