Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
