But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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