so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
