why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
