In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
