I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
