p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize