i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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