I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
