Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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