when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
