i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You smell like a Billy Joel song
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
