GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
