we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
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