FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Can't talk, ducks in the car
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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