yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
