that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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