so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize