Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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